Lasik update

Ok, so it's been 2 weeks since I had Lasik as of tomorrow. Still no improvement. In fact, when I went in last Friday for my one week follow up, I had gone from 20/20 to 25/25 or something like that..in other words, my vision is getting worse. I keep hearing it's all normal. I'm so sick of hearing that. My vision is BLURRY, and I have HEADACHES....this is normal? I guess so. Of all of this, the thing that hurts the most and is makes me very depressed is that I need to rely more on other people now. I CANNOT drive at night. There is no way. I went to Target the other night when J was out of town, and I almost hit someone walking across the street because it was dusk and I didn't see her at all until I was super close. I didn't hit her, but it scared me to death. I realized that as soon as it started getting dark, I couldn't see anything...I have night blindness now...which again, I'm told is normal. OMG, seriously, I cant see at night...I cant drive myself anywhere...and this is normal? Maybe for you, not for me. They keep telling me 3 months before your eyes fully stabilize and you can see....this is such a crock, no one that has had it done, has heard of this before. WTF?!?! Ok, I'm going to wait it out the 3 months, and try not to be more depressed about it or cry about it anymore. If at the 3 month mark, there is no improvement, I will not take "it's normal" as an excuse anymore.

All I can say is...WHY GOD.....

Why didnt I get up early enough to go with J on Saturday to Laguna Seca?? Why oh why?? I heart Dr. McDreamy. *Sigh* But alas, I did not get to meet him, J did. :(

Ah, the simple pleasures

Finally! After 10 days I was able to wash my face today. Ahhh, did the feel good! With Lasik, you arent allowed to wash your face, or have water from the shower hit you in the face for 7 days. At the 7 day mark, I tried, but it still hurt really hurt. Today I tried one more time and was able to do it pain free! woo hoo!! Ugh, I was starting to feel so gross and break out. TMI..I know, but finally, I can get back to being clean!! Yay for healing! My vision is still blurry in my right eye...but we'll see. I had my one week follow up on Friday, and the doctor was such a smarta**. Ugh...so frustrating. I keep getting told it's all normal...so I guess it's all normal...even though everyone I know that has had it says it's not normal. Oh well......only time will tell I guess. All I can say is that they better be better by the time I go to Hawaii next month!

Mixed Emotions......

Ok, so I talked to our lender last week and asked if Lasik would affect our approval status since I was going to finance it interest free. She said no....so I had it done last Friday. I have such mixed emotions about it. Everyone I know who had it done loved it and was perfectly fine the next day. I have had eye pain, blurriness, and I cant see very well out of my right eye.

I see it on TV all the time, so I had this vision in my head that I would have the surgery and be able to see when I left. They can always see the clock on the wall on TV immediately after. Well, not so for me. I was in so much pain. I came home and took 2 valium and slept most of the day. Saturday I went back for my post op and they said my vision is 20/20, great right? I thought, oh, I'm just sore so I'll see it soon....well 4 days later and it's no better. I'm not 20/20, there is no way. I could see better before with my glasses. Its hard to drive even. I cant wear my glasses because my vision is way better than it was...just not good enough to see without anything. I keep getting told it's all normal...but everyone I know that's had it said I should at least be able to see for the most part. Well, I can see out of my left eye, but my right is very very blurry. Not just trauma blurry, but bad vision blurry.

At this point in time, I completely regret getting it done. I know my eyes need to heal..that is obvious by looking at them. I'm trying to be patient, but its very hard to do when its your eyes. I want to be patient and wait it out, but I cant see, so it's really frustrating. For the most part, my vision is better...but I have a feeling I will need to have it done one more time in right eye.

I'm hoping in a few weeks I'll eat my words and it will be the best experience of my life...but it's been a rough road of tylenol, eyes drops, and valium thus far.

I'm told six weeks is normal for vision to fully stabilize, so I'll update as to whether time helps my eyes, or I need to have it done again.

A Tribute to Marcello Matricciano

In signing up for the 2,996 project, I was given the name of Marcello Matricciano. In searching on the internet, I was able to find a few things about him. I didn't know Marcello, nor did I know anyone that perished that day. Marcello passed away on September 11, 2001 at the far too young age of 31.

I feel like saying Marcello was a resident of New York, NY, and a Manager of Customer Installations at Cantor Fitzgerald doesn't sum up who he was. One of his coworkers put it best when he said:

"Marcello Matricciano was our company clown and stress-reliever. He was able to walk into a room, insult us all completely and make us laugh. His insults were right out of a South Park cartoon, and his friendship was as dear as his mouth was dirty. His buoyant character helped us all calm down in the bad economic days. And in the good days, he was a beacon of laughter and friendship. His wife and son, Nick, will sorely miss him."

My heart goes out to his wife and son. I'm sorry for your loss on this day 5 years ago. I hope you were able to find strength in those around you to get through your tough time. I'm sure it's still hard for you and I wish you peace in your life.


From some of his friends and colleagues:

This was an outstanding colleague, gentleman and a great friend. He is and will be sorely missed. My condolences to his family.

Larry Karp, colleague

I am a former NYPD auxiliary police officer and my partner and my buddy who went through my training class, Matthew Kalamaris, was Marcello's childhood friend. Matty was devastated to find out that his best friend was lost and I keep Marcello in my heart although I never knew him. I apologize if this post does not adhere to your posting rules but I want his family to know that someone else thinks of him out here.

Fox Luu

Rosie - I sat behind Marcello at B.S. Mort. Cap. Corp. He was truly and great person and friend. He always found a way to make me laugh to get through some tough times. My nickname was just one of those may ways. I will never forget those days. He and his family will always be in my prayers and in my heart.

Ray "McNerski"

If you click on Marcello's name in the first paragraph, it will take you to his guest book where you can read what many people had to say about this great person. From what people say about him, he was the one to make everyone laugh. It's hard to lose someone like that, because you lose the laughter too, and that is what you need to get through a tough time.

I know this tribute doesn't do his life justice, but I hope you all will take a moment of silence to think about Marcello and all the others that lost their lives on that horrible day. They may be gone, but they will never be forgotten.

A Fitting Tribute

I heard about a 9/11 tribute and thought I wanted to get involved. It is called the 2,996 project. There were 2,996 victims that died in the World Trade Center on 9/11, almost five years ago. Here is the description from the project:

2,996 is a tribute to the victims of 9/11.

On September 11, 2006, 2,996 volunteer bloggers
will join together for a tribute to the victims of 9/11.
Each person will pay tribute to a single victim.

We will honor them by remembering their lives,
and not by remembering their murderers.

I was assigned someone and sad to know that he was only 31 years old when he passed away that day. That is J's age, and it's sad to know his life was cut so short.

I will do my best to honor him on 9/11, and I hope the rest of you will log in and do the same for someone else that passed away that day.

It's a sad topic I know, but I want to honor this person, not make everyone else sad. So good luck if you decide to do it, and everyone take care!!

The real deal......